I want a white car that turns red when I’m embarrassed.

“If I wouldn’t have looked under the hood, I’d have never noticed the problem. B…”

“My niece just turned one. I gave her a birthday card that read, "If you can rea…”

“I can’t work well when I am under stress. It reduces me to normalcy. Stress is …”

“To wipe her off my mind, I wiped my ass. I felt so free after that I took a shi…”