I want eyebrows shaped like pinball swatters, and to accompany that I’ll get a Hindu dot on my forehead.

“Good things come to those who ate. And I’m stuffed. Like a teddy bear. That mig…”

“William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns…”

“In 50 years, I’m going to tell my grandchildren, “Back when I was growing up we…”

“The crowd was patriotic, and they were chanting “USA, USA.” Of course, the crow…”