I want to be my own wedding singer at my own wedding. But first I’ll have to audition.

“Algebra is numbers forgetting why they’re letters.”

“The months roll by like wheels on a wheelchair. Pretty soon it’ll be July. Feel…”

“A brick could be used to foretell the future. Here’s my prediction: Tomorrow wi…”

“A door shaped like a vagina is more inviting. Sure, I’ll come in, but not slouc…”