I want to be the guy who the guy you admire admires. I hope his name is Guy, because I admire M.C. Escher.

“The best part about vomiting is that right after you do, you can continue eatin…”

“I think astronaut's helmets need to have Viking horns affixed to the side, to l…”

“I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the ma…”

“I work at a newspaper. I’m not a journalist; I’m a deliveryman. Well I will be,…”