I want to create a cologne that smells like a whisper. It’ll be for all the secret admirers out there.

“If love were orange, like an apple, there’d be nothing to compare it to.”

“In middle school, I spent a lot of time with my buddy Edward. I called him Sex …”

“I saw you see me like a seesaw, and I knew you were the one to be number two.”

“Generally, competition is a good thing. But not when it’s between two nipples, …”