I want to drown in all the ink used to write positive things about my clone and how great he is.

“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, bu…”

“If somebody’s a jerk and says something nasty, be a bigger jerk and say somethi…”

“My computer set-up is crazy. I have wireless set up on my iMac, aimed at a rout…”

“I just took a shit that smelled like a dentist’s office. Open your mouth.”