I want to have a punctuation mark on my face. I’d like to shape my mustache into a tilde sign.

“If I didn’t have any pants on, I’d let you taste my pantslessness.”

“A blanket could be used to reaffirm your faith in God, though I’d suggest using…”

“I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safe…”

“My niece just turned one. I gave her a birthday card that read, "If you can rea…”