I want to make enough money to buy an island. Something modest, like Australia.

“With Mildred Feeblemeister dead, I’m now the world’s 77th greatest grandmother.”

“Coupons are easy to counterfeit, so why not make a bunch of one dollar off coup…”

“My ashtray is full, the carton of cigarettes is empty, and I just cremated gran…”

“I want to grow a tan and an accent, then dig it out of my garden and staple it …”