I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.

“I got stiffed on a tip. It was an erection.”

“I can smell a trap. It smells like my ass.”

“A blank canvas is so abstract that only imagination can fill it. But wait! Don'…”

“When someone asks me if I was born in a barn, I always give them a long face. A…”