I want to pour your voice into a goldfish bowl before flushing it down the toilet.

“If I had a last name for a first name, a first name for a last name, and a midd…”

“I carry a door with me wherever I go, because one, it’s symbolic for the opport…”

“I don’t like chili, unless I’m wearing a jacket.”

“I’m the Director of Redundancy. I’m also the Director. I make love like I make …”