I was recently diagnosed with dyslexia and restless leg syndrome. The doctor arrived at this prognosis after my arm wouldn't stop shaking.

“I had to stop selling stick-figure portraits of women at the beach, after too m…”

“If my name were Ouch, it would pain me to introduce myself. As it is now, I onl…”

“I’m only 33% patriotic, because I don’t bleed red, white, and blue. I only blee…”

“Some people sleep their lives away. But I also want to sleep death away. If I s…”