I water my driveway, and I drive a hard bargain to work (it gets great gas mileage).

“I didn’t do it, because not doing seemed like the right thing to do. I’ll alway…”

“What flies faster than a crotch? A fly.”

“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot cof…”

“Thanks,” I said, “have a great day.” And I turned to leave. Damn! I am such a c…”