I went for a walk and I stubbed my big toe. And my erection.

“I’ve always been a pretty open person, much like a 9-5 store at 6.”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my …”

“If I spent ten years in prison, I’d probably come to value the small things in …”

“I’m about to cross a time zone, and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling…”