I went to a fire sale. I brought a bucket of water, and boy did I make a splash.

“I’m hypoglycemic and squeamish and liable to pass out at the first sign of bloo…”

“The old me is younger than the me now. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I’m covered in fish hair! I have a dwarf shaped like a suitcase that I carry ev…”

“I made love to a woman 20 years older than me. The impressive part is that I wa…”