I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldn’t tell because I was already sitting in the nosebleed section.

“The chain of command, I wear it around my neck.”

“Is your bed big enough? Because if it is, I can always join you and crowd it up…”

“Chop off my erection. That way you don’t have to go battery-operated penis shop…”

“For just over my price range, I can get something way under my quality expectat…”