I went to a homosexual high school. I graduated top in my class. I couldn't imagine being on the bottom.

“I need to protect myself from myself. And my clone.”

“Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I …”

“I need to drain the thermodynamic fluid from my bathos tub.”

“I don’t believe in the zodiac. Whenever anybody asks me what my sign is, I alwa…”