I went to school to be a comedian. I was always cracking jokes in class. And after they were cracked, the teacher would try to put them back together.

“Gold. You don’t mind if I just mined some, do you?”

“I’m a nail biter. Not when I’m nervous, but when I misplace my hammer.”

“If you want me, you’d better hurry. Act now, supplies are limited.”

“I breathe onto a mirror just to make sure I’m still alive, and to see how good …”