I wish to report an attempted murder—on my clone. Someone tried to drink my semen out of beaker number two.

“Herman is not her man. But neither am I, and I love her more than any man besid…”

“In my dream, the passenger seat of my car was a toilet. I guess I was on my way…”

“I’m a neat person (interesting), but I’m not a neat person (organized).”

“I’m thinking about becoming a farmer and a fisherman—a hunter of swimming plant…”