I won’t bring you a single rose to be romantic, but I will point out that our relationship itself is the rose, and it’s our goal to see that it blossoms.

“On average, women are better liars than men. But the best liars are men, becaus…”

“I have two mustaches, one over each eye. They smell like tits and ass, because …”

“A brick could be used as a sex toy. Well, I say sex toy, but the politician str…”

“I feel like something warm. Apple pie, with two slices of bread and roast beef,…”