I won’t put up with a woman who tries to put me down. But I might put out if she lets me put it in.

“It’s a cliché to say that men think with their penises. But it’s a fact. And pe…”

“I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely …”

“She had lips like two wavy slices of crisp bacon, and her kisses felt like grav…”

“Cats are the best. They don’t need haircuts, and they love to cuddle, unlike ce…”