I would be up for a sail, but my boat is up for sale. I think I’m going to stay inside and play with homophones until the exterminators finish fumigating.

“The Frosted Flakes sales team once described me as “Flakey.” I was highly flatt…”

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know t…”

“The shape of her smile is curved like a lie, like a boomerang she knows she has…”

“Love is a good thing. Not starving to death is also a good thing. Being in love…”