I wrote a thesis on love, and I wrote it in lipstick. Of course, I also got blood on the paper, because the lipstick was still attached to her cheating lips.

“I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “…”

“I say eek to Zeke Ekez, the imaginary palindrome politician of my dreams. He lo…”

“Get a watermelon, draw a face on it, and talk to it before making love to it.”

“Personally, I’ve been here since 1982, and I’d say it’s about time for breakfas…”