I wrote something for my local newspaper, but nobody read it because it got buried in the obituary section.

“I don’t want to hold you back. That’s what the chains affixed to the wall are f…”

“I want to write a song about one man's level of commitment called, "I'd walk to…”

“I need a bone saw—for the meatloaf I made for you, which looks suspiciously lik…”

“Sometimes it’s not about selling my handmade crafts. Sometimes it’s about givin…”