I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.

“Jarod Kintz is a friend, a lover, and a loner. Jarod Kintz talks about Jarod Ki…”

“I’m so hungry I could eat some silverware.”

“I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in.”

“She’s my compliment. That’s a kind way of saying I’m lacking.”