I’d never name my kid Mark, for fear he’d be a target—a mark.

“Love is yesterday’s tomorrow, minus the frozen musical notes, soggy teabags, an…”

“A brick could be used to show how patient you are. Somewhere between one brick …”

“It doesn’t matter how I arrive at my conclusions, so long as I reach my destina…”

“I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out …”