I’d never shoot shrapnel at a bear, because why ruin a perfectly good rug like that?

“In the name of freedom and redistribution of wealth, I’ve decided to grow a bea…”

“The best way to deal with tiredness is to sleep it off.”

“The whole world is dying. Just too slowly and naturally for my liking. Somebody…”

“I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them.”