I’d rate myself five stars, and those stars would all be fish. My review was of how well I walked on the beach.

“If you were to talk about your nose, I’d take everything you’d say at face valu…”

“My friend Angela, she’s no angel. But my friend Demonica, she’s aptly named.”

“The early morning is too strong to drink straight, so I need to mix in a little…”

“I rolled up to his house, rolled up my sleeves, ate a Fruit Roll-Up, and left. …”