I’d rather play with small quantities of large people than large quantities of small people.

“I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midget…”

“I think I just inhaled a cloud. That’s what I get for not wearing a gas mask wh…”

“I need a water/glory mix of 2:1. That’d make me piss like a champion.”

“He was thoughtless, not because he was insensitive, but because I had just eate…”