If a man is choking to death on a bite of steak, there is really only one thing to do—finish eating his steak.

“At the end of the first date, I got my courage up and I made a move. One U-Haul…”

“A brick could be used like yellow sneezes hello every time love walks like a sl…”

“I’d race my motorcycle across the ocean just to avoid swimming in the desert. L…”

“Communicating, like undressing someone, can effectively be done with your eyes.”