If a policy isn’t working, don’t change the policy—change its name. That should be taught in Politics 101.

“The last time I was there was the first time I was there, but it’s not the last…”

“There is nothing more enjoyable than being a member of an enlightened group of …”

“A brick could be modified to be a cell phone, for construction workers who miss…”

“If a man was choking, what would I do? Well, I’d remove my penis from his throa…”