If a woman asked me how far I’d go on a first date, my reply would be 69 miles. Round trip, not one way.

“The coolest way to be cool is to be yourself, because nobody can be you but you…”

“I hit a car, but it wasn’t my fault. The bicyclist who rear ended me is to blam…”

“Thor once took an IQ test, and he was scoring so high that the referees took aw…”

“I’m wearing shoes made of sea foam, and I am here to seduce the elderly. If you…”