If an actor’s neither talented nor handsome, what difference is there between him and any other waiter? That reminds me, my drink needs refilling.

“You’re first place in my heart. And here’s a second-place ribbon from my third …”

“I travel light. But not at the same speed.
”

“I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripp…”

“When a whisper seems like a shout, I know I need to get some sleep. But I can’t…”