If green is envy and blue is depression, then I’m feeling quite turquoise right now. But maybe with a little luck, I’ll feel teal a little later.

“If my name were Nubby Blues, I wouldn't be a jazz musician, I'd be a disabled V…”

“Be honest, asshole. Are you a dick magnet?”

“My definition of dictionary can’t be found in the dictionary. Dictionary—A ling…”

“A brick could be wrapped in plastic and sold individually to toddlers as toys. …”