If I fail to succeed, I have succeeded in failing.

“If I’m having sex during an earthquake, would I get a refund on all those quart…”

“Leadership is being the first egg in the omelet.”

“I’m halfway to being a father. Not 4.5 months out of 9, but ½ of a mating ritua…”

“I always wear size 14 boat shoes that are so old they could have been built by …”