If I had chlorophyll instead of blood, I’d have ivy in my IV (not Roman numeral four).

“I brush my teeth with a leg of fried chicken, and gravy is my toothpaste.”

“You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to beat me to my rooster costu…”

“I want to work at a big firm. Erection.”

“If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave.”