If I hung out with Van Gogh, I don’t know what we’d do. We’d just play it by ear, I guess.

“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked int…”

“I hit a car, but it wasn’t my fault. The bicyclist who rear ended me is to blam…”

“A brick is blocking my urethra. But it’s not painful, because my penis is just …”

“Batman’s cape would make a great canvas for a cave painting.”