If I meant to miss, and I made it, then I missed my miss. So I missed and I made it, rather than making it and missing it. That’s almost as frustrating as being in love!

“Once the bar gets set too high, simply lower it so you can keep on hitting your…”

“Too much nudity is a turn off. Especially if all that flesh is on one person.”

“Last night my girl and I were knocking boots, but it won’t happen tonight, beca…”

“A blanket could be used to smother a fire—but not the fire that burns in my hea…”