If I remain silent, the proper response is, “You don’t say.

“I wish there were a vending machine that served cats. Not to eat, but to pet du…”

“Too bad Americans can’t export Awesome, because I have boxes and boxes of the s…”

“My life outlook isn’t cloudy. That’s just the weather report for the rest of my…”

“A brick could be used to show you how much I love you. Well, maybe not a whole …”