If I shake your hand, will I get my fingerprints all over your fingertips? I hope not. Otherwise the crime scene, and the shaft of my penis, is riddled with my fingerprints.

“If I had the gift of flight, would you try to turn me into duck soup?”

“I want to go to Sing Sing prison. I’ll bet they’ve got a good chorus.”

“My name is Couch Choochoo, and I’m here to train you.”

“I like the name Lola, because it has LOL in the beginning.”