If love had four legs and fur, would you try to pet it, chase it, or serve it up as chicken lo mein? My stomach is full of meow, and I brought the chopsticks.

“To forgive is Godly. To begrudge is manly. I don’t even have any chest hair, so…”

“Not only did I lie about lying, but I lied about lying about lying. And you’d b…”

“I have a container full of yelling I keep in my kitchen. It makes a great clean…”

“Randy Rowdy makes me rowdy. And randy. But Randy Randy gets me twice as horny a…”