If love were a color, it'd be orange. Not because that's a romantic color, but because it's the sweetest. If you want to know how I feel about you, I just made some juice out of it. Grab a glass—a tall one.

“I would wash my clothes in the aquarium, but there’s a shark in the tank, and a…”

“She yawned so loudly that I wanted to use her mouth as a putt putt golf hole.”

“In my life I haven’t done anything worth writing about, but that’s OK. That’s w…”

“I have a memory like a baseball glove, so please, don’t toss me a basketball-si…”