If love were a person, it would look like me, only taller. And more handsome. And quite likely more muscular too.

“The best thing my grandpa ever said to me was, “Gladys, bring me some more damn…”

“I want to write the world’s worst cookbook, which I’ll title: “The World’s Wors…”

“Arizona is the A to Z of abbreviations.”

“It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligen…”