If my penis were big enough to be mistaken for a leg, I am not sure I'd want the world to know. However, I would walk up and down the stairs a lot. What you'd call masturbation, I'd call exercise.

“On a map on my wall I relocated my family to Orafouraville, which is the capita…”

“As a balloon expands, so too does my love for you with each passing day. To kno…”

“How many seconds does it take to win second? As many as it takes to win first—i…”

“It’s possible that I couldn’t handle the truth, but I sure wouldn’t mind fondli…”