If silence is the admission of guilt, then she must be really guilty, because last night I asked her a question and instead of answering, she went to sleep for eight hours.

“And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I shou…”

“Being an only child makes me the oldest child and the youngest child. And the m…”

“I don’t like breakfast—I prefer fixslow. I eat it like I devour your love, and …”

“We fell in love like the Fourth of July. But there was nothing red, white, and …”