If somebody’s a jerk and says something nasty, be a bigger jerk and say something kind and walk away.

“I’m running late. But that’s OK, because I’m wearing Nikes.”

“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never ma…”

“Sometimes when I’m watching TV and I see a horrible commercial I think, “Only a…”

“I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if no…”