If we’re friends, I’m only the funniest guy you know because you don’t know John Cleese.
Or Steve Martin. Or Jack Handey. Or, or, or, I could go on for Orafoura.

“I love Blue Ribbon coffee, and she loves Red Ribbon coffee. I don’t love her, b…”

“Your food’s not getting cold. I’m keeping it warm in my stomach. Dinner’s on me…”

“If I ever go to China, I’m going to find a piano and play “Chopsticks”--only no…”

“On our first date, you should wear a maternity dress, because I’m going to try …”