If you just give me a chance, I could be the man you’ve never dreamed of and never wanted.

“I just made ice cream. Accidentally. I made regular cream, and then winter kick…”

“When I walk my dog, people always ask if we’re twins.”

“What you consider gross—dead rats—I consider considerate gifts.”

“-Do you see that?
-Yeah, what is it?
-That’s the truth.
-How can you tell it’s …”