If you put a long-haired wig on and ask nicely, I might sit on your back and ride you like a horse. I believe that’s the only appropriate way to show you how much I love you.

“I live in the armpit of the country. I can tell by how hairy and smelly and hil…”

“I spent about eight hours deep in thought over whether to get divorced. That ma…”

“Ben had never seen another hotel quite like The Mandrake. The valets were all d…”

“It’s what you do in your free time that will set you free—or enslave you.”