If you want me to have sex with you, I’ll have sex with you. If you want me to love you, I’ll have sex with you.

“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked int…”

“If green carpet grew on trees instead of leaves, I’d pick off a few cats—with m…”

“Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar…”

“I may not be a horse whisperer, but I certainly can and do shout at unicorns.”