If you were to ask me if I have ever loved a woman, I'd probably reply, "Two gallons of milk and a midget.

“I am an uncle, though this is not a new feeling for me, as I’ve been one before…”

“I wanted a divorce, so I bought myself a house, to give me the incentive to sta…”

“The dollar isn’t worth its weight in gold, and the pound isn’t worth its weight…”

“When I think of Vermont, I think of Connecticut.”